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My winning lottery 

11/7/2016

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After watching a very touching korean movie, I decided to write a letter to myself. This was a letter from "SG Pools" to me, congratulating me on the forthcoming big sweep win. I thought it was funny and weird, but after writing and reading, I find a kind of relief never before. Was it reading aloud my own name, congratulating myself that makes the difference? 

Or was it the movie that touches the depth of my soul? The movie talks about a convict sentenced to a death sentence and how he gain a chance to be "born again" after a visit by the nephew of a catholic sister. It was very touching towards the end. He had a tough childhood, living on the street with his younger brother whom later died during one of his sleep. He grew up working from job to job and later fell in love with a girl working in the saloon. One day, his girlfriend need to go for an operation which costs a lot of money. Out of desperation, he decided to join forces with another guy to rob a rich woman. 

The story has its unique twists and turn with the partner raping the woman's daughter, killed her and also the mother. When the maid came home, shocked to find the owner lying in a pool of blood, the male actor holding on to the knife that the partner used and killed the maid. 

It was the male actor's last winter spent in the prison and how his strange encounter with the nephew blossom into one of the most beautiful story. Who's saving who ? Was it the nephew who hated her own mother for not siding her when she was raped at 15 years old or the male actor who was given a new lease of hope to hang on before his death sentence? 

The nephew changed, cooked and started drawing, something she had not done for a very long time. Talented as she was, she continued to bury herself each day harbouring suicidal thoughts and living day by day. She hated the morning just like the male actor who could not see any reason to celebrate except hoping for his sentence to come sooner than later.

He has given up hope until he met her. They both opened up to each other eventually, pouring their own life stories , never told before to anyone, I think. How strangers could meet each other and turn into confidant at the most strangest place ,the prison. God has his ways to salvage situation and turn things around that we could not comprehend.

She decided to forgive her very own mother who is undergoing an operation as she learnt to let go of the past hurt and anger that she had harboured for so many years. It was painful and teary just watching her talking to her mother who remains indifferent on the outside, emotionless .

One can never imagine the kind of hurt, damage a parent could do to their own children and the consequences they had to bear when they grow up. She find living meaningless and ending her life is the only option. 

Like the bible say, when there is no vision, the people perished. How true this statement is. No matter how small the hope is, we must cling on and continue to step up in faith, believing things are becoming better for us as the days passed. It is only when the male actor found a new lease of hope that the death sentence came upon him ,much faster than he had previously wished for. He must have regretted and wish it could be turn around. His ending speech was asking for forgiveness for the hurt he has caused to the people, victims family and express his gratitude for the catholic sister and her nephew.s help. It was the best moment of his life, something worth remembering at the death chair. 

Upon reflection, I tell myself that we must not judge our circumstances, no matter how dire it may seems and give ourselves the death sentence. There is always a way out , hope is just round the corner if we preserve for another second, take another breadth. Easier said than done when we are in our own situations, so deep sometimes that we cannot climb out and see the view outside of the glass we are in. Movies are powerful lesson for us to draw, to detach ourselves and see things from a different horizon. 

To him, every Thursday from 10am to 11am was his favorite time as that would be the time of her visit. To someone who is facing a death sentence, how he could view this hour, an hour of a time so precious and meaningful to him yet we could not think much of it. Must we be put in such extreme situation before we wake up and cherish life and value the people around us? Are we too preoccupied in our own world and fail to see what others want us to see?

Love is such a wonderful thing, it makes people go dizzy and do crazy thing. It makes living worthwhile for someone you truly love, like your family and children and instantly, all the sufferings and pain seem so insignificant. 

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