He wrote something about the educated unemployed and it strikes a chord in me. I am one of them, under-employed. Each day, I tell myself to be grateful for what I have in life, my supportive spouse , great kids, roof over my head, freelance training opportunities and thus far , a healthy body that takes me running when it needs it. You can say, I have freedom but not security.
As the head of the household, I felt horrible not providing financially for my family and having to rely on my wife's income. Each time, I wanted to start something, I get excited for a few days to weeks and then the "realist" and "critics" in me comes to haunt me again. Was it my past business experience giving me insights to reevaluate risks from a deeper angle?
I need to get out of this mental block and sets new targets for myself regardless of my current circumstances. God, give me a stronger dosage of faith, a clearer signs for me to pick up and keep me close to your heart even more than before. I had a strange sense of losing reality like floating out of this world. Lately, I had a bad dream that one of my friend passed away with a heart attack. I woke up and wept . We had lost touch for a while and I was afraid to know the truth as the dream seems so real...........
Have you experienced before?
I like trading and analysing charts as I find our life depicts a similar picture as well. We make attempts to breakout from the resistance and rely on supports line to help us bounce back. At times, we are in a range zone, going up, down, but really nowhere. At unexpected hours, something snapped and we soar like a rocket high up. Then, it came down real hard.....and the cycle repeats itself. I am reminding myself to be strong and not give up. I have too much to lose to give up now. Yesterday , my daughter pulled out a photo album that had our son pictures when he was a few months old, How times flies, he's eight now.
Psalm 22:19
19 But you, LORD, do not be far from me. You are my strength; come quickly to help me.
This is my current state now and I am praying and appealing to God to pay attention and render some help asap. I know he hears me and loves me and dotes on me dearly like how I treat my 2 kids. But Father, I am lost and need your guidance to walk this valley of darkness that seems to misguide me and influenced my thinking.
Let my imagination be awakened and brings me to a whole new level.