For the past one week or so, I have been praying to God to fulfil my one financial goal, to achieve 200pips in my forex trading. It was surpassed yesterday at 235.2 pips, I was ecstatic! All I did was to close my eyes and see the screen that I monitored daily reflecting the number 200+ pips. Then I went for run yesterday, still tempted to check from time to time, a little anxious and concerned about the outcome.
Then I remembered Neville's teaching about planting seeds and harvest. We do not go dig up the soil and check if the seeds are growing but be patient during the planting time. So it is the same, to constantly check the price action is in my opinion a sign of weak faith, a lacking of confidence. So I tell myself to focus on the run and let the outcome turn out well by itself, constantly going into the end with the 200 number in my head. How would I feel if it has hit this number of pips? I discovered I had the bad habit of taking profits much earlier than I wanted, afraid it will turn profit into losses as I had experienced several times. This negative experience haunts me each time my trade turn into a small profit and instead of letting it run, I get anxious and wanted to control it by taking profit fast.That way, I would be out of action but also reduce my anxiety. But I found out, each exit in a way also means a later entry and a higher stop loss should the trend reverse against me.
At one point, I think it is futile to analyse the outcome of the trade as there are so many factors that can contribute to it. I had neglected and forgotten the importance of my own thinking and how powerful it would impact on the outcome. I had somehow allowed my fear to overtake my faith and take control, making me feel edgy and uptight monitoring the screen.
Others can coin it as a strategy but to me, it reflects the urge to get out of the action, afraid to face the consequences at the end. The more entries I had, I realised the more exits I had to make eventually and the margin of errors increased. Think of it this way. If a trend is going down and if I say enter at 0.10 and hold for 1 week and sell at 0.05, I would make a profit of 0.10 - 0.05 = 0.05. Conversely, I could do 5 quick trades, entering at 0.10 , out at 0.09, in at 0.09, out at 0.08, in at 0.08, out at 0.07 and so on .............
The challenge is after getting out at the first exit of 0.09, it would need nimble fingers to get back in for 2nd entry at same price and hoping to get out at 0.08. The trade just does not move in such linear movement and logic else it would be too easy for everybody, right ? It daunts on me to make a higher profit, I need to increase my position size , say from 0.01 lot to 0.03 based on 2% risk per trade rule. Other things being equal, if the trend is with me, then I would need to make only one entry and exit to double my profits (pips) compared to doing it twice. The reverse can also be true, the amount of the losses I have to bear.
If psychology constitute 60% of winning the game, risk management takes up 30% and leaving only 10% to strategy then why are there more training schools advocating on the least important - strategy instead of psychology then? The trainer can impart his strategy skills to the students but he is not able to control our mind - the emotions side of playing the game. How can he train us to be more fearless, to let profit run and cut loss fast, a theory that seems difficult to achieve in the real trading world.
Through tracking, I found out I had more profits but small ones but 2 losses could just wipe out all my gains within the week. I would be lucky to break even else it would a negative yield each week, pretty demoralising. I then compare that to other goals that I am pursuing and want to see if there is any difference. It is the attachment, association of using real money to make more money that differs. I could skip one run or two and know jolly well I could make it up the next time. No problem at all. But with real money, the pressure somehow is different.
It was all in my thinking!! Now I imagine that all my past trades have been profitable, all records showing blue (means profits) and how consistent and happy that makes me feel. Each trade is entered calmly with no rush, with no fear. Small losses are the building blocks for my profits, a necessity rather than an obstacle. I accept this and see my profit factor improving each week. I am happy that trading remains fun and yet allow me to do other things I love - gardening,reading, traveling ,etc . I have a lavish, steady and dependable income arising from trading. It has taught me discipline and a great test of faith for me as well. The pullbacks in a downtrend is like the temptations from Satan telling me to take profits early, to not trust my own thinking and words like "bird in hand is worth two at the bush", "money in pocket is never wrong",etc escalate my decision faster.
I have the courage to increase my lot size and within the risk limit to trade, thereby improving my profitability and reaching my goals more efficiently. I believe that there is more than enough money circulating in the market for each and everyone of us to take our own share, in my case 200 pips. I deserve to win , I deserve to own this money and I feel happy about it.
I am sitting at the garden bench trading as before, watching my portfolio grow to millions and surrounded by my trees and lovely plants in my garden.
I felt relieved now that I have achieve the 200 pips and can let go of the suspense of knowing the outcome. It has proven to be true, again! Thank you Lord for your continuous blessing. I know I am in your good hands.
so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. Isaiah 55.11
what word ?
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.Philippians 4.6