It appears what we say to ourselves repeatedly over time is the answers that we feed to ourselves when questions concerning our competence comes into play. The boss asked if you could handle an overseas assignment, take on a new challenge or be the top salesperson,etc. What would your answers be? What if you had no prior experience? What truly makes you certain that you could do it? Where does that bout of confidence comes from?
We take in information through our five senses, mainly see, hear and touch. So if someone made a critical remarks to you at work or at home and over time, you start to think what they say is true. That feelings is horrible, forcing you to surrender and admit your failure. On one hand, you want to fight but somehow you felt weak and this feeble feeling grows over time and before you know it, you had given in and subconsciously allow failure to overtake you.
Yes, she was right! I could not even wash the dishes properly. How could I doe well in this ? We made assumptions like this all the time, drawing inference from one event and extrapolate if we did not fare well in one then the next would be the same. Sadly, this is an unfair statement and we must recognise it is a different context altogether. You may not excel in washing dishes but you are still a good father to your two kids. You may not be a good cook but you are disciplined in keeping fit and healthy. Look, this are two different matters that must not be lump together and assess.
Stop selling yourself short and discredit yourself for the minor things you didn't fare well and magnify it, often out of proportion that you give it so much attention that you begin accepting that is who you are.
You are better than that, way much better !!!