Have you ever wonder why is it from time to time we still cling on to our past hurts, regrets, self-doubts and crticisms? If God has forgotten our sins as described in the above verse, why do we still find it a challenge to forgive ourselves and let it go? As spiritual beings in a human body, I too encountered this as well and thought breaking down the thought process might be helpful to those who go through the same as well.
In my opinion, God is perfect all the time, not most time, some time but ALL THE TIME. For him to pick on some of our sins and forget some is just not his style. Big or small deeds we had done that we think is wrong, unrighteous has been forgiven by him. It is the guilt that we continue to hang on and at certain times, it overtakes our emotions that make us vulnerable. Call it the devils, satan or negative thinking, this is where they seize the opportunity to counter an attack.
It is thus important to catch ourselves in this state and shake it off (the thoughts and words we say to ourselves) immediately. Sayin aloud the word "STOP" does helpe to a certain extent as it break the chain of state. For me, exercising helps me to distract and focus on the task on hand, the running. In fact, just going out into the open where there are lots of greeneris is itself a healing and therapeutic journey.
If you have to eat to distract, then I would recommend healthy snacks like fruits as a short term solution. Oh, writing on my blog helps me too, It enables me to put down my thoughts, to think it through and reflect my inner thoughts about the thoughts itself. Reading spiritual books , self improvement ,etc is another of my favourite. Of course, watching movies with good story line and uplifting messages kicks in the extra boost we all need as well.
Guilt comes about and continue to attack us because there is a certain sense of self worth being depreciated. We feel we do not deserve a chance to turn over a new leaf, as if staying in the same state (ie. guilt) would help retone our sins. What's vicious about feeling guilty is it brings it self-pity and a whole load of negative thoughts with it, causing us to spiral downwards even more. What we want is to get out of the trench as fast as possible and not to go any deeper till we lose sight of the possible way out.
Thus, to me, being aware of our own emotional states is very crucial. Understand what motivates you, what drives you to think more positive, take more healthy actions. Please note that permanency would come with sufficient practice of short intervals motivational triggers. It could be a short run, or a walk in the park, listening to a motivational song, read the bible, talk to someone on the phone, being with your family members, etc. Different folks, different strokes. If you ain't sure, try one of these and see how it makes you feel. Whatever makes you feel better, gain more clarity and peaceful, do more of it and expand horizontally (with new activities) slowly over time.
We need to remain stubborn or persistent in shaking off this guilt viruses that can cling on to us for a while. Our thoughts is the positive antibiotics that would get rid of this viruses but be patient and give it time to kick in the effecfts. Do not give up after 1-2 dosage and you do not see the results you want.
It is important to know the end goal in mind, the vision. If you are out of this trench, how would you feel? Describe an actiivty that implies you are already out of it. For example, if I had hit my monthly/weekly/daily investment goal of 40k/10k/2k, then I would be planning a shopping trip. Christmas is coming, who else do I need to get presents for besides my family? Or adding a new plant from the nursery? Even start window shopping for the property that Iam eyeing on ? This future activities while not yet happen in the material world will become crystalised as the feelings intensify over time. The more natural it feels, the closer I get to fulfill the wishes.
Remember, what will be is what it is already!! Not the future but live in the present. It is important that we deny what the senses and our rational minds tries to tell us it is not. It can be a strong detractor, bringing you back to your senses to tell you it is nothing but a pack of lies. And if we choose to believe it, then we are finished. The goal gets further and fades off as we took in the senses of seeing what is not there instead of believing it is already.
Out of mind, out of sight! I need to constantly remind myself of this phrase as well. I find staying away from places where there are lots of noises - shopping malls, traffics, etc and distractions help. I enjoy my time in the garden, walks in the park where I can connect better with God. Shopping will tempt you, reason with you and prove to you the lack, the gap that you are trying to close up and the feelings sucks. The more you see, the more intense it gets, till it eventually convinces you it is not possible to get from where you are to where you want to be.
Deny all these activities especially in the beginning. Build up a strong heart and the beach and the greeneries are more conducive and can facilitate one to reach a higher spiriitual level. Most important of all, be patient, remain calm and stay peaceful with yourself. That is crucial I realised. Afterall, if one has achieved what he wants, is there any rush to get out to go get what he wants? No, time is already on his side. He can afford to take as much as time as he wants to travel, to shop on weekdays and not bothered with clocking the hours, meetings, reports, etc. The heart is calm, knowing there is more than enough to go around for everyone. It is not as if the million dollars is reserved for one or two special person and if you are not fast enough, there goes the chance. No, everyone has a chance, the universe has more than enough resource to go round provided people believe in it.
It is a wonderful journey of self discovery, one that is full of surprises, big and small awaiting for the one who believes.
Have fun !!!