My take on this video is as follows :
1. Most singles are still focusing on the external things - appearance, qualifications, etc
2. pressured by time - as they aged and feel more pressure from both parents and society, the more they want to settle down fast (as in getting married after a few dates, even 1)
3. They keep doing the same thing over and over again
Let me break it down simpler. Good if you are single and are reading this !
First thing first, the focus is on the external environment. That means, they (males and females ) are looking at the pool of singles available. They focus on the LACK factor. If the demographics of this single pool is dwindling by the year (better be else it become a social problem for the government), then it is naturally both the quantity and quality of the singles will get lesser.
When one focus on LACK, naturally, it invites anxiety, magnify self doubt and a certain perception before they engaged in the game of dating.
Next, their belief system that they bring into this game. For those who had prior bad experiences with other dating firms or even through parents/friends, they too had a certain expectations of the person they are going to meet. They come with a list of dos and don't , to assess if the person sitting opposite the table measures up. Sounds like an interview? Yup, except the candidate who passed gets to date the girl instead of acquiring a job.
With this as background, can you imagine how stressful it is for the singles to meet each other ? Outwardly, both can be wearing fashionably and appear relaxed (as a kind gesture for first time meeting) but once they warm up, the conversation can get quite heated up.
We need to know that God has our interest at heart. He creates us, humans not to suffer but to be happy beings. It is we, humans we tend to make things complicated and mess up our lives. At least that is how I think.
Next is the question of time. Look at this bible verse :
The sufferings that we go through is to mould our perseverance (a true test if you really want it ) and that shapes our character and eventually reveal our identity.
I have often shared with my friends that our role is not to manage the TIMING part of the equation. Leave that to God, he is much better at time management. In the past, I would get worked up if I missed a trading opportunity for fear of missing out and rushed to get in , often ended up in small profits and unnecessary losses. I was thinking if I stay glued to the computer and watched the signals closely, I would increase my chance of success. Of course, it was more of a hit and run case.
Now, I am far more relaxed in executing my trades and my profitability has increased much much better. I feel more relaxed and not pressured to take a trade, no matter how good it may appears to be. I have understood, believing in the Creator would yields me the confidence and knowledge to find the next trading opportunity than to peel my eyes on the created , ie. the charts.
Similarly, in dating context, one should let go of the "making my dating partner become my life partner" time pressure. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and you want to be sure or at least feel comfortable with the person you are going to share your pillows and bolster with each night. Take time to understand each other and let joy, peace and love flow within your heart. The answer will come to you if he or she is the one.
Hope - to have hope in God's words means to be positively expecting it to happen.
The next time, when someone asked you; what are you doing this weekend ? Please replied that you have a date with someone else. On the surface, it mays appear silly or even hypocritical but it is not. Trust me, I have used this method unnumbered times and it works.
If you know you have a date this coming weekend, how would you carry yourself throughout the weekdays ? Would you ask your colleagues or girlfriends to go shopping with you? Would you dream about what your conversation would entail and what compliments he would pay you?
Isn't that a sweet and lovely feeling to have ? Before you entertain this as wishful thinking and whack yourself on the head, I challenge you to take up this test. Forget about the dating agencies, the parents match making, etc. Just focus on this part - the feelings of going on a date.
If this weekend does not materialise, continue to carry forward the feelings to next week and the week after. This is not a 100m run where you need to complete asap. What factors would contribute to the success ?
1. Your faith - how much you believe in it - some initially like the idea but as time passes and the work gets busy or their MBA/PHD brains get the better of them, they quickly brush this silly concept aside, probably thankful they did not buy into it. How can such a simply and profound idea actually works ?
2. Your prayers - At any moment, you would be bombarded by news, friends' remarks, etc that this is not going to work. They would say things like :" if it is so easy, who needs a dating agency? My answer is simple - if more people are willing to try this method out and stand firm till their dreams come true, then that would be the day we can say dating agencies are redundant. Therefore, you have to keep on praying for your request day, noon and night. Let not disturbances of any kind affects you. Give this a reasonable time frame, say 2-3 months and you consciously do as what I had mentioned here. Stay away from other methods you had tried before but had not worked thus far. Give this method its exclusive rights, 100% intensity and efforts.
3. If you are going on a date as you are, who would be the first person to know? Most likely, not your parents for fear of being asked too many questions. So, it is likely your siblings or your close friend whom you can confide this matter to. So, what would you close friend said to you?
Construct that short sentence in your mind and repeat that each day to yourself, having both of you in a dialogue. See yourself feeling excited, maybe blushed a little and nervous. Each time, the intensity of this feeling subsides, bring it up again. From a initial score of 3 , do your best to bring it to 8-9 and maintain it as naturally as possible.
4. Take action - Here, is the interesting part. Now, God knows what is your request and He is at work. How he does it is beyond our imagination. He could prompts you to think of someone whom you had not met for 10-20 years and suddenly you decided to search for that person on social media and connect with him. Or, instead of taking your usual bus home, you decided to take a walk and right in front of you, is the person that God has wanted you to meet.
Just focus on taking the action, be it a hunch, reminder or even a dream. Do not doubt it no matter how silly you think it might be. Just trust HIM and follow his orders.
In a nutshell, that is how you can truly and permanently break the spell of being single. Is there a lot of work to be done ? Yes and no, depending on how you look at it. Are you willing to abandon the methods that all other single friends of yours are using and tried this above ? Are you willing to suspend your need to control and relinquish it to God , having 100% faith that he would execute it timely for you ? If your answer is YES, congratulations.
If you answer is NO, I can also accept it since this is not the mainstream practice that everyone said it is. All I am asking is to give it a try and let the results speaks for itself. When your dream is fulfilled, kindly pass it on to the next person who might benefit from it. True blessings from God are free and if it is free, then it is my duty to share the gospel (the good news) with as many as possible.