I remembered scratching my left leg, behind the knees last nite and were unhappy after the past few good days!!!!!
For the past few days, after my breakfast, I had spent some quiet moments sitting by the garden and meditate. Just closing the eyes and allow the breathing to go in and out of the body, not forcing anything , not deliberately wanting to eavesdrop any conversation nearby and even shifting my attention to nearby disruptive sounds created.
PEACE and tranquility. How nice ! Just like seeing my little green shoot coming out from the soil, it's a heartening experience that one can understand like a parent bringing up his children. Day by day, they grow without us knowing , how amazing it is. And how tall my own son has grown now as I watched him giving a hug to his mummy last night. I am in awe, and thank God for the healthy boy he has given us.
Healing is more than the physical scars that some of us , pain, itch ,etc that we have to endure. What's unseen and left untreated are what lies within us, the emotional waves of anger, resentment, disappointment, guilt, unforgiveness, envy, frustration, etc that gives rise to to the circumstances that we faced each day.
I received an email from a friend asking me to join a near sold out event by Tony Robbins, a popular coach that many knows. Some simply adore him while others find it elusive after attending as the effect wears off post his workshops.
I have often shared that like gardening, we must prune the unwanted branches, dead leaves away from the plant we intend to grow. Likewise, each day, we have engaged not with others but ourselves in inner dialogues that are unhealthy and negative. Thoughts likes if only I could be .................why can't I drive this nice car or anyone with those looks can sell............
Many, including myself in the past still believe wholeheartedly that the causes of our life events are external - the economy , education, family background, external looks, networks ,etc.
And why not ? when evidence are mounting each day as we watched news to seek confirmation that we are right - FB is a billion dollar company and the tuition market is also a billion dollar industry as more parents pour more money in the hope of getting better grades for their children.
I am concerned as I got two young kids and like stranded in a whirlpool, could I hold fast to my beliefs and not get sweep under the current?
AR Bernard, a pastor came to the church and said something - your measure of peace is your measure of trust with God. I think there is lots of truth in that statement. To be able to stay calm and while not having or knowing the means to solve the pressing problems in our lives, we trust God, believing we are in good hands and he will deliver us out of our situation like bringing the Israelites to the Promiseland.
Thank you Lord for bringing all these resources (people, nature, environment, new ideas) to me , to stabilise my erratic mind that runs like a mouse on wheels sometimes, lost like a sheep, desperate to look for safety and its shepherd.
Strengthen my faith and increase my courage as I continue on this healing journey, renouncing the negative thoughts to haunt and remind me and marching with pride to tell the world what a miracle I had experienced.
I am healed.